Abramelin, day 262

All sorts of HGA related dreams last night. He came in one of the forms he showed up in my dreams years and years ago. So strange.

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Busy day at work today, but very aware that I am working with some really cool people. Incredibly grateful beyond words to have this job. How did I get it again? So much gratitude.

Decided to email the wand maker and get a status, got an email back saying they would look up a tracking number for me. Did some math and looking at the calendar, figured worst case scenario is I start on the 27th.

On my way walking home from the train heard a voice in my head asking if I was ready. Came home to a box on my doorstep, containing…yes. I will be starting on the 17th for sure, and will be in radio silence until done. I am nervous, excited, fucking terrified…gods.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 237

Morning and noon prayer rite went well.

Job is going well so far, hopefully will stay that way! They are giving me high hopes and it’d be nice too finally be in a place I can stay in for a while AND have time to work on my side businesses until I can leave IT.

Stomach still upset and sensitive. When did I ever get this sensitive? Will need to watch what I eat next few days if much of anything at all.

Evening rite went okay, but had to go to bed early because I wasn’t feeling well. Only third time ever during the operation I’ve had to do it in my room instead.

Abramelin, day 236

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

Schedule changes in my life don’t help me too much. I need to figure out what to do with myself besides being online and working out when not at work. I think I have some intense personal stuff I’m still avoiding and I need to start digging into that.

I also need to start getting more sleep. It’s affecting my eating habits and everything else. I’m also a LOT more physically active than I normally am, which is great. I think I need to take in more quality food.

Evening rite went well, all things considered.

Abramelin, day 235

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I can’t believe it’s taken me 235 days to finally get someone to comment on my entries and ask me what it means when I say a rite “went well”. Honestly, much of the time they are satisfying but sometimes they are not. Sometimes I am whining or ranting during these. If you go back during some of the entries I touch upon that. This has NOT been an easy couple of months besides, but a number of miracles have helped me along the way.

I dunno, maybe I need another FAQ that goes something like this:

Q: Why are you doing this rite?
A: To torture you all, my beloved minions and striped jellyfish.

Q: But what do you hope to get out of the Abramelin??
A: A sweet, sweet blog. And questions like these!

Q: But I’m skeptical, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHYYYY
A: Because I’m here to torture you and make you ask these questions!

Q: But this I think that this rite is stupid and it won’t work waaaa
A: Then by all means, don’t do it! I don’t want you to do anything you think is stupid because that would be like stupid or something.

Q: But then WHY ARE YOU DOING IT
A: Why, to annoy you! Is it working yet?

Q: …are you making fun of me?
A: Is water wet?

Q: WHY are you making fun of me??
A: Hermes.

Day three of the new job and I’m still liking the place. I really hope this lasts! I have also learned what my hours are, and I love them to bits. I want to hug them and squeeze them and call them George.

Had some interesting insights today while pissing off all the right people (utterly unrelated to the blog comments, lol). I wanted a sign to let me know whether or not I’m on the right track and I got it, along with a bit of a revealing test. I have no idea if I “passed” or not but I do know that how I react to things now is NOT how I used to react, and I consider that a bonus. I’m not yet where I’d like to be but I’m definitely not where I was, and for that I am super extraordinarily grateful. I commented about this to my friends last night. I am so honestly grateful to not be where I was at the start at this rite let alone last year to the point of tears.

 

Evening rite went well. ;)

 

Abramelin, day 234

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I think I am missing a day, but I’m not sure. The trip to the Cape has me totally thrown off.

Day two of job went well. I may like it here. Haven’t done any real work yet so hard to say. I never really know until after the first couple of months.

After work got to hang out with a few people from my coven.

I have a lot to work on but feeling insanely optimistic. I know what I want and I’m defining it more and more all the time. At the same time, I feel like I’ve been doing this rite forever. Am I there yet? lol

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 233

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

This job may actually work out. They work a 37.5 hour week, don’t see any micromanaging thus far, great commute, very nice people. We’ll see.

Feeling good. Battling some personal bullshit but hey, another day in the life of.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 232

Morning and noon prayer rites went well.

Still not sleeping well, hot tubbing and pain meds completely knocked me out. Fought falling asleep during car ride home, went into bed and totally crashed.

Tomorrow is the first day at my new job. I really hope this works out. :-/

Lots of intense, interesting dreams.

Evening prayer rite went well.

Abramelin, day 222

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I’ve realized that my days and nights are filled with doing divination, magic, seership, mediumship past few weeks. If this isn’t alchemical I don’t know what the fuck is. I’ve been getting my taste of full time magician, witch, and priestess and I’m finding that it comes entirely too natural to me. I feel at home.

Another day in Salem.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 221

Morning rite went well.

Got unemployment straightened out, scheduled car for repair, and got an energy scan reading, and all before noon today. Fun times!

Another day in Salem.

Evening rite went well.

Abramelin, day 216

Morning and noon rite went well.

It looks like the week off I wanted in order to complete the rite has been given to me, and yet the almond wand is still delayed. I take this to mean I’m still not done yet but it’s so strange to have that week off part work out but not the wand. So close, yet…?

So much crap to burn through, I’ve come so far and yet am so far away. Ugh. Very frustrating on so many levels. I see why the almond wand is not here yet and I wonder when it will be.

Gods help me.

Evening rite went well.