Abramelin, day 235

Morning rite and noon prayer rite went well.

I can’t believe it’s taken me 235 days to finally get someone to comment on my entries and ask me what it means when I say a rite “went well”. Honestly, much of the time they are satisfying but sometimes they are not. Sometimes I am whining or ranting during these. If you go back during some of the entries I touch upon that. This has NOT been an easy couple of months besides, but a number of miracles have helped me along the way.

I dunno, maybe I need another FAQ that goes something like this:

Q: Why are you doing this rite?
A: To torture you all, my beloved minions and striped jellyfish.

Q: But what do you hope to get out of the Abramelin??
A: A sweet, sweet blog. And questions like these!

Q: But I’m skeptical, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHYYYY
A: Because I’m here to torture you and make you ask these questions!

Q: But this I think that this rite is stupid and it won’t work waaaa
A: Then by all means, don’t do it! I don’t want you to do anything you think is stupid because that would be like stupid or something.

Q: But then WHY ARE YOU DOING IT
A: Why, to annoy you! Is it working yet?

Q: …are you making fun of me?
A: Is water wet?

Q: WHY are you making fun of me??
A: Hermes.

Day three of the new job and I’m still liking the place. I really hope this lasts! I have also learned what my hours are, and I love them to bits. I want to hug them and squeeze them and call them George.

Had some interesting insights today while pissing off all the right people (utterly unrelated to the blog comments, lol). I wanted a sign to let me know whether or not I’m on the right track and I got it, along with a bit of a revealing test. I have no idea if I “passed” or not but I do know that how I react to things now is NOT how I used to react, and I consider that a bonus. I’m not yet where I’d like to be but I’m definitely not where I was, and for that I am super extraordinarily grateful. I commented about this to my friends last night. I am so honestly grateful to not be where I was at the start at this rite let alone last year to the point of tears.

 

Evening rite went well. ;)

 

Comments

  1. Hi Scarlet, I made some assumptions about the phrase “went well,” and it was pretty close to what you mentioned; I never bothered to ask. And thank you for bring that up now!

    Thumbs up for the new FAQ. Lol. :D Saw the conversation you alluded to — it was interesting.

    “I have no idea if I “passed” or not but I do know that how I react to things now is NOT how I used to react, and I consider that a bonus.” — More thumbs up for this. I can totally relate to this though we have somewhat really different backgrounds and life situations.

    • Scarlet Magdalene says:

      I have had a couple of people message me privately with similar questions (“What are you looking to get out of this”, “What do you consider K&C to be”, etc). I think I had to make a comparison to DS9 for one of them for the sake of context, namely Jadzia Dax. Such is the mind of a geek.

      There were things I struggled with at the beginning of this rite which caused me to decide to go into it. Essentially, that 1) I had nothing to lose, 2) I could not live my life the way I had been living it, and 3) I had to change or die. This rite seemed apt.

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