Abramelin, day 116

Morning rite went well. I found myself awake at dawn and took advantage. As usual, one of my kitties heard my voice and came by to put her paw under my door. Sometimes she chirps while I’m doing the rite. I keep calling her my “temple kitty” and thanking her for keeping the evil spirits away. :) Cats love mystical energy, but really…they just love the sound of mommy’s voice and want cuddles.

I went to sleep and had a very vivid dream of seeing some guy I didn’t recognize, dark hair and dressed in black, and right behind him was my friend who had passed. I remember wondering how in the world I was able to see her and the guy was also able to see her, and wondered if she would just pass through me, objects, etc. She was carefree, happy, and having a blast. I was glad to see it. At one point she literally bumped into me, and I called her name to get her attention.  I awoke before we could talk.

Noon rite went well, am rather high after. Phase three does feel like the spiritual equivalent of the INSANITY fitness program, just what I’ve been asking for, for I don’t know how long. I feel like I’m constantly doing ritual now, constantly in the temple room. It’s both invigorating and exhausting. I’m finding long walks are great for clearing my head. I have NO idea what I will do in a regular job. I very much wish I could remain unemployed until this operation is over, but I literally cannot afford it and while my side business has gained much ground it’s not yet enough to live off of. Dammit.

Reviewing all of my notes on phase three and continuing to stress. Gods, I hope I get my shit together, do this rite right, etc. I know I’ve come a very long way, but holy hell I have a long way to go.

Evening rite went well.

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