Abramelin, day 111

Morning rite went well.

So many crazy, vivid dreams. My airplane dream has come again. I’m always trying to make my flight on time, this time I prayed to Hermes to get to my gate on time and I did. It was gate “A107G”, whatever the fuck that means. I was on my way there after spending time in an intermediate place, some hotel room all in white and my stuff everywhere. The rest of the dreams focused around travel and people whom I haven’t dreamed about in ages. So much astral travel.

I am thinking it is sanest to really start phase three this weekend versus when I think it’s supposed to start, which is tomorrow. If I go with the 28 days = 1 month rule, 56 + 56 = 112, and that’s tomorrow. Ugh. I’ve been reading and rereading what I need, lots of stuff about retiring from all business, good luck with that when you have a mortgage. I think my gods will be sane about that.

And of COURSE the only almond wands I can find online are coated with beeswax. The one thing I shouldn’t have had ANY difficulties getting vegan (seriously, it’s wood from a tree, it’s a freaking plant, wtf), rendered not vegan. Awesome.

On occasion, I’ve received “advice” from people, usually that I should keep silent and secret about this entire working and shouldn’t be blogging about it online. It’s interesting that it’s phrased that way versus “That’s something I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing or would want to do myself”, but outright telling me how to go about the Abramelin and in talking about it with others. All of these people have one thing in common: none of them have actually done the Abramelin. I’m not offended; it’s actually a bit amusing and slightly perplexing. I personally would never give advice to someone on something I have never done and therefore would know nothing about, but that’s me. I’m not sure what it is about this rite in particular which brings out certain qualities in people. I keep wondering, do people feel threatened? What about it bothers them so? Do they honestly believe I’m REALLY blogging about every little tiny personal thing? I’ve never been remotely that open, nor would I ever be. I don’t think it’s a genuine “OMG! TMI!” reaction┬áthat I’m getting; I’ve certainly blogged about nothing that should’ve brought about such a response. There’s something about this rite which brings all the ego out of people. I’m not sure if it’s because this rite in particular has been enshrined on such a pedestal or it’s the evidence that people are out there, doing the Work–or maybe it’s the alchemy of the rite itself given how it’s already bleeding over onto my immediate family and they aren’t even remotely mystical. It’s funny; I was thinking about this in the car on my way here hours before the exchange had occurred. Not everyone is going to be inspired or empowered by what I’m doing and what I will accomplish. Some will be threatened. VERY threatened. I’ve watched a similar occurrence when I ditched over 100 lbs worth of weight in a year: some were inspired, some wanted to learn more about what I did so they could get healthy themselves, and others┬ádidn’t want to have anything to do with me afterward because they couldn’t handle the fact that I managed to do that for myself. A few got mean, others just cut me out of their lives entirely with no warning. But I’ll tell you what it did inspire me to do years later: become a fitness coach.

I expect this rite to have similar consequences, and I expect that to increase, not decrease, including long after the rite has been accomplished and I am “settling in”. If anyone’s looking for any prophecies from me these days, there you go, one for the books. But I don’t need psychic powers to determine that; I’ve already had my several warnings and heads-up about it in more ways than one.

Hermes help me. Apollo help me. Dionysos help me.

My trip to visit my dad has gone well so far. I definitely see an increased need for purifications once this trip is through, not due to the trip but due to some of the, shall I say, “disturbances” during and before it. The heat’s getting cranked up and everything’s coming in. I am going to need to be as isolated as possible during phase three aside from what I need to get by and thrive.

Evening rite went well.

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