Abramelin, day 13

Morning ritual went well. I once again slept right through the sunrise alarm. Not even sure why I still have it.

I will be working from home today again, will back in the office tomorrow. I didn’t sleep very well. I am still running a temp. Doctor’s appt made as it’s fairly obvious it’s my annual sinus infection. I hoped not to get it this year but the stress with the job, the sleep interruptions due to the start of the Abramelin, the mortgage refinance endless drama, and of course the death of my friend didn’t really contribute to wellness for my immune system.

l-i-f-e g-o-e-s o-n

I forgot to post this yesterday, but when I came home to light a candle for her on Hermes’ altar, the radio started playing New Order’s “Regret”. Do you ever get the sense that your life is not your own, and things happen which seem just a little too neat to be coincidence? Does your life feel like it’s being written by someone else? I’ve never had the chance to really see anything in my life as being truly random. It’s why since yesterday I can’t stop saying “It makes no sense.”

I am in the wrong universe.

It’s not yet been two weeks doing this magical operation and it feels like two months. I’ve been adding more regular spiritual practice, something which I should’ve done ages ago. Sunday for Apollo, Monday for Papa Legba, Wednesday for Hermes, Friday for Dionysos. I might do Sunday during the day for Apollo and night for Dionysos at some point but will depend on schedule and the “flow”. Sunday is honestly a crazy day of ritual as is.

Evening rite was okay, although nearly as long as last night’s. I need to take as long with the Abramelin as possible. I don’t care how long it takes; I’m not stopping until it’s done. I’m not settling for randomness, blue pills, and pointlessness that just turns into poison. I just can’t.

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